Newborn Bonding

Your Newborn has been developing since inside the womb. Their brain is at its basic structure and their experiences will fine tune the development that continues into young adulthood. Even at its basic structure your baby is equipped to be cared for ,communicate, and bond. You meet your baby's bonding  and later attachment needs when you respond to them socially through touch, voice, and presence. These needs can be filled though everyday caregiver times of responding to cries, changing diapers, feeding, and sleep routines. You interacting positively during these times is enough, your baby just needs a present parent not a pinterest parent.


Brain development that promotes bonding
1. Newborn's show signs of memory of sensory from the womb including sounds and smells

2. Newborn's brains are equipped to process and recognize faces

3. Newborn's are equipped to process speech stimuli

4. Newborn's have an awareness of touch from people other than self

5. Newborn's have a need for touch. The deficit of touch inhibits growth and is seen in situations where children are extremely sensory deprived such as in extreme institutionalized situations

6. Newborn's mirror certain actions such as sticking out a tongue

7. Newborn's try to protect themselves from overwhelming stimuli by looking away or falling asleep

8. Newborns communicate through crying, by 6-10 weeks they will communicate through smiles and coos. 

Bonding

Your baby is ready to bond with you from birth. This occurs during your caregiver times when you change your baby, feed your baby, prepare your baby for sleep, and respond to your baby's cries. During the newborn stage due to awake times (see here ) caregiver time may take up most of your baby's awake time.  You are meeting your baby's bonding pathways through your voice, touch, and presence during these caregiver times.

Diaper Changes

 Be present with your baby during diaper changes, ensure you do not focus on your baby's diaper only. Watch your baby if they try to engage you by making eye contact engage them but if they avoid you  allow them by avoiding eye contact while still being present yourself and not trying to rush the diaper change (see here). Look at your baby's face after wipes, talk to them about you will do,sing songs, exchange faces,  You can have conversations about how much you love them , what they see, or what you will do next.  

Read more with the amazing Janet Lansbury

Eating

Hold your baby close, make eye contact if your baby does not look away. Tell them what you are going to do before you do so.  For instance before you pick them up, offer them the breast or bottle, or burp them . While feeding watch their body movements if they just want to relax while they drink let them and just enjoy each others presence. If they are eating well and look like they want to engage do so with songs, telling audible stories, conversations for as long as they can engage while eating well. 

Sleep routine

Try to have a predictable and short before sleep routine, this could be as simple as telling them its time for their body to rest and that you will lay them down and give them a kiss before you gently lay them on their back. Your night sleep routine most likely will be longer including outfit changes, swaddles (if you choose), or whatever you choose in a dimly lit room. 

Responding to cries

When your newborn cries they are communicating a need, observe your baby to try to figure out the need instead of instantly hushing your baby. There is an increase in crying during the first three months, research shows crying within the norm and PURPLE crying (unexplained crying during the first three months) do not have lasting impact on the infant or parent-infant relationship. Responding is necessary for attachment, a short observation can allow you to better see what your baby needs and allow you to calm yourself and better see which need your baby needs met. While you observe you are providing your presence and voice while you talk to your baby about them seeming uncomfortable, crying,and asking them what they want. If you are able to tell help that need and if you are not tell your baby you are going to help them and pick them up. Respond with your voice and touch while observing your baby for disassociation signs like looking away. If your baby is looking away and crying hard after you have met all needs try to minimize sensory input . Dim rooms, white noise, holding while swaying gently ( and being calm), laying down on a safe firm surface, or swaddling can help with over stimulation.


Other caregiver times 
You will also travel (carrier or stroller), use a car seat, tummy time, change clothes, and bathe/groom your baby. As with the above try to be present and focus on your baby as well as the task. Observe your baby for signs they want engage, slow down your pace so you may engage, and speak to them about what is being done to them. Engage your baby with adult led activities such as songs, stories, and conversations they enjoy it.
*Note* Although natural development is a beautiful tummy time is shown to reduce risk of SIDS (see here). You can do tummy time while your baby is on your chest so it may be a bonding time while having floor play time be purely child led. When your baby rolls over on their own they will initiate their own tummy time and you can watch your baby's pure natural development .

As your newborn gets older their awake time will lengthen and they will begin engaging in play time. Play time is how your child develops and should be purely child led. The adult's job is creating a safe age appropriate environment while the child's job is play. As a caretaker you must also take care of yourself, use playtime as a refresh time while still supervising play. See here for older play.

This is an educational resource not medical advice work with your Healthcare provider.

References
Center on the Developing Child (2007). The Science of Early Childhood Development (InBrief). Retrieved from www.developingchild.harvard.edu.

<a href="http://psychology.jrank.org/pages/212/Emotional-Development.html">Emotional Development - Early infancy (birth-six months), Later infancy months) (7-12)</a>

Stifter CA, Backer P. Crying Behaviour and its Impact on Psychosocial Child Development. In: Tremblay RE, Boivin M, Peters RDeV, eds. Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development [online]. http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/crying-behaviour/according-experts/crying-behaviour-and-its-impact-psychosocial-child-development. Updated March 2017. Accessed August 14, 2017.

Lagercrantz, Hugo, and Jean-Pierre Changeux. “The Emergence of Human Consciousness: From Fetal to Neonatal Life.” Nature News, Nature Publishing Group, 1 Mar. 2009, www.nature.com/pr/journal/v65/n3/full/pr200950a.html?foxtrotcallback=true.