Precious Moments and Present Parenting

Parenting, where things usually do not go as plan including communication. You may feel like your child never listens to you, they laugh when you say no, or that you have to punish them so they learn. This problem occurs because children's brains are still myleinating so messages take longer to process and their self-regulation part of the brain will not be fully developed until young adulthood.To complicate manners the parent-child dyadic can become hostile if power struggles become a characteristic of the relationship. Words to avoid & why? " Don't run, no jumping, stop touching the TV" 1. Your child hears RUN, JUMP, and TOUCH TV 2. Your child sees you are flustered, its different and possibly funny 3.Your child is confused. Children learn through schemas...    outside vs inside, floor vs couch, and TV vs toys are concepts they may not yet understand as different. They may be confused why standing on the couch makes you mad but not the ground. 

You care about your baby more than anything in the world and want to provide the best for them. This clear goal becomes blurred when there are so many products on the market some of which are unsafe and prey on new parents' insecurities. I hope this guide helps you find what is best for your family. Sleep Needed A safe sleep surface: 1. Crib 2. Bassinet 3. Play yards 4. A fitted sheet 5. Sleep sack or swaddles  6. Offer a pacifier made of a single piece of material if you are not breastfeeding (if breastfeeding you can offer a pacifier after 3-5 weeks) 7. Baby room thermometer Products labelled crib,bassinet,or play yard are tested by CPSC .These are the only safe sleep surfaces. Not Needed or Unsafe 1. Blankets 2. Mobiles over the crib or within reach 3. Crib bumpers 4. Anything other than a fitted sheet unless directed by health care provider If an item is not labelled  crib,bassinet,or play yard  it is not

As we talked about in Newborn Bonding  , your newborns brain is at its basic form and your baby's experiences will fine tune the development until young adult hood. This fine tuning occurs from the back of the brain to the front of the brain where higher functions such as planning and emotional regulation control exist. There are two type of development that will occur within your child based on their environment: Experience-expectant development Development dependent upon your child experiencing certain experiences. This is the development all children are expected to go through, milestones . What are the expected experiences?  Things to see- Their hand, the wall, your face, child safe mirrors, trees, the sky, outside, your home Things to hear- Your voice & everyday sounds Things to touch- Simple play objects , their hands, you, your home, and outside Room to move- A clear safe place to move freely on the floor Objects to pull onto- These should be sturdy

Your Newborn has been developing since inside the womb. Their brain is at its basic structure and their experiences will fine tune the development that continues into young adulthood. Even at its basic structure your baby is equipped to be cared for ,communicate, and bond. You meet your baby's bonding  and later attachment needs when you respond to them socially through touch, voice, and presence. These needs can be filled though everyday caregiver times of responding to cries, changing diapers, feeding, and sleep routines. You interacting positively during these times is enough, your baby just needs a present parent not a pinterest parent. Brain development that promotes bonding 1. Newborn's show signs of memory of sensory from the womb including sounds and smells 2. Newborn's brains are equipped to process and recognize faces 3. Newborn's are equipped to process speech stimuli 4. Newborn's have an awareness of touch from people other than self 5. Ne

   Childhood is a time of strong emotions and reactions especially during times of great growth. This can appear as a child who seems to be crying over everything, needs constant carrying, pushing more boundaries,or is having stronger outbursts than usual. Children do not need to be punished for their emotions but shown empathy and guidance.                                                             How to be your child's Guide   Model emotional regulation  We model emotional regulation to our children when we use our words to communicate what we want or need in a calm voice. We respond to their outbursts like they are a normal part of their development (deep breath, it is) instead of reacting with our own outburst.  Observation Practice sitting in one spot for 10 minutes to 20+ a day and watch your child. Try to see them as objectively as possible. Process their actions without using feeling words,adjectives, or any subjective terms. Just use nouns and verbs, whe

     Once children realizes they are their own person close to the age of 2 years old they will begin to assert their wants paired with  the new emotions of pride, embarrassment, and shame . NO, is a very popular word and if we are going to raise children that will change the world we need to encourage them to say No. Parents worry when they hear this word or when their sweet baby is defiant. defiant behavior is a sign of brain development and even a developmental milestone, see here .      The truth is defiant behavior is necessary and beneficial to your baby but the reality is you and your baby's feelings are both important as is society's.  How do you get through this time while keeping a strong parent-child relationship , a socially competent , and an emotionally secure child ? Set up your baby for success and do not trap them with trick questions . What is a trick question? Do you want to go to the grocery store? Can you put on your shoes? Do you want

Lets talk alveoli... 1. They are like your fridge , keeping the milk your body makes in between feeds 2. When your fridge gets filled in between long gaps of feeding (>3 hrs) or engorgement your milk speed slows down due to FIL (   Some women can tell when this happens by feeling their breast, a more filled breast will feel harder than one that just nursed) How Often do I feed my baby? 10 or more times in 24 hours, at the very least 8 times Important to know: 1. The closer together feeds are the more creme milk (high in fat and protein) baby gets 2. Your breast do not empty from you nursing 3.You have to take milk out to make milk!!!! During cluster feeds and growth spurts your baby will optimize these two points In a cluster feed a baby may nurse every hour, usually during night (a time when baby is usually more fussy) in order to get the most creme milk ( usually before their longer stretch of sleep) During a growth spurt which is also a fussy time (oh p

OVERSUPPLY What may I see in my baby? LOW  or  HIGH  weight gain GULPING ,  CHOKING , or  SPUTTERING  while drinking Constant  DETACHING  and  REATTACHMENT  or  SWITCHING  sides during a feed May have a  WEAK  or  LAZY  suck  CLAMPING  down on the breast CRIES  and  ARCHES  their back at the breast REFUSES  breasts and  SHORT FEEDS Acts  GASSY  after feeding,  COLICKY , or  SPITTING UP  frequently Acts  UNSATISFIED  despite  WEIGHT GAIN EXPLOSIVE ,  FROTHY ,  GREEN  stool May make  CLICKING  noises while nursing What may I be feeling? CONSTANT  feeling of  FULLNESS ENGORGEMENT  that does  NOT  improve after a feeding Excessive  LEAKING Recurrent   PLUGGED DUCTS  or  MASTITIS May  SQUIRT  everywhere when baby detaches  May have  SORE NIPPLES Able to pump  MULTIPLE OUNCES  after a feeding May  BELIEVE  you have an  INSUFFICIENT  milk volume Why may OVERSUPPLY show these SYMPTOMS? In Baby.. Oversupply or hyper-lactation occurs when milk volume

When you are wondering about signs of milk transfer always check your latch and positioning Visual signs of effective attachment in baby 1. Wide open mouth 2. Fish lips or flanged lips 3. Nose, cheeks, & chin touching or almost touching the breast 4. Rythmic dropping of baby's jaw while swallowing, see here *tips* for attachment: 1. to check if  baby is attached, roll baby back one inch. If baby becomes unattached baby was never attached. 2. Check baby's lower lip if rolled in, gently slip your finger by the corner of their mouth and unroll it. Baby's body position 1. Baby is frontal to frontal with parent 2. Baby's whole body is close to parent 3.Baby's body is aligned and supported *tip* for positioning- try watching your self in a mirror to check your positioning Signs of milk transfer in Baby Suck:Swallow pattern 1. During babies first three days baby may suck up to 10 times per swallow 2. After milk volum