Precious Moments and Present Parenting

Learning mindset Avoid: Fixed learning mindset A fixed learning mindset is the thought that skill/intelligence in a subject is limited. This is harmful since a child thinking they are just bad at something will not invest effort or time in improving. This ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy as the child creates a mental block preventing them from fully trying. The child withhold your effort to  protect themselves from failure.  Promote: Growth learning mindset A growth learning mindset is one where the child believes their accomplishments are not due to their innate ability but the effort they put in. In effect when the child meets a challenge they are more likely to invest more of themselves to improve or overcome the challenge.  You can promote a growth learning mindset from Babyhood: 1. Describe your child's efforts instead of evaluating the finished project.   2. Allow your child to fail in play, art, and everyday interactions. When they do fail allow the

 One of biggest causes of punishment is a lack of perceived respect, but what is respect? Respect is subjective for instance is your idea of respect the same as your partner, child's teacher, your parents, or people from different cultures? It is also worth considering if your child has understood theory of mind? Theory of mind is the concept that others have different thoughts than your own, here is an experiment people use to test for it. Understanding another person's perception of respect may be out of your child's abilities depending on age.       Q: Does this mean you just let life go by without concern for others feelings? A: Nope , that would not prepare them for success in their environment. What this information means you need to guide your child while their brain is developing. Understand that social learning schemas such as when to talk, run, and manners take time like any learning schema. Just like you use baby steps for your child to learn science (explor

Have you ever felt your child was being sassy or bossy? They are calling you mean, telling you what to do, or "talking back" to you. Are they hitting, yelling, or doing the opposite of what you say? Maybe these actions and words do not phase you but another does, and you react physiologically. Our children know us better than anyone because they have watched us since they were born, our return to their faces/coos drove them to talk and engage. During the beginning stages of attachment they started social referencing to see if something is desired by their adult. This social referencing doesn't stop but it is now paired with a growing sense of self. This mind is growing so fast in emotions and physical growth but self control and planning is not quite there. A milestone that all toddlers will reach is opposition behavior, they are asserting themselves as their own person,witnessing your changing reactions, and then repeat the experiment to try to figure out why. All wor

When parents set limits we usually set them verbally then are frustrated when our child does not follow through, even though "we've told them a hundred times. When strangers see the child being "defiant" they often say some cliche like "that child needs boundaries" and the parent of the child is frustrated thinking "I set limits, they mean nothing! My child just doesn't listen. " So.....What is a limit? A limit is only a limit if you can & will enforce it! Now do not confuse this as punishment or unnatural consequences, but guidance.  Now how do you enforce the limit, while keeping a healthy emotional relationship? Understand toddler brain development that gets in the way of "listening" 1. Memory of the past and ability to apply memories to the present is extremely weak during the toddler years  2. Between 18-24 months children are developing a sense of self, they identify themselves as a separate per

Parenting, where things usually do not go as plan including communication. You may feel like your child never listens to you, they laugh when you say no, or that you have to punish them so they learn. This problem occurs because children's brains are still myleinating so messages take longer to process and their self-regulation part of the brain will not be fully developed until young adulthood.To complicate manners the parent-child dyadic can become hostile if power struggles become a characteristic of the relationship. Words to avoid & why? " Don't run, no jumping, stop touching the TV" 1. Your child hears RUN, JUMP, and TOUCH TV 2. Your child sees you are flustered, its different and possibly funny 3.Your child is confused. Children learn through schemas...    outside vs inside, floor vs couch, and TV vs toys are concepts they may not yet understand as different. They may be confused why standing on the couch makes you mad but not the ground. 

You care about your baby more than anything in the world and want to provide the best for them. This clear goal becomes blurred when there are so many products on the market some of which are unsafe and prey on new parents' insecurities. I hope this guide helps you find what is best for your family. Sleep Needed A safe sleep surface: 1. Crib 2. Bassinet 3. Play yards 4. A fitted sheet 5. Sleep sack or swaddles  6. Offer a pacifier made of a single piece of material if you are not breastfeeding (if breastfeeding you can offer a pacifier after 3-5 weeks) 7. Baby room thermometer Products labelled crib,bassinet,or play yard are tested by CPSC .These are the only safe sleep surfaces. Not Needed or Unsafe 1. Blankets 2. Mobiles over the crib or within reach 3. Crib bumpers 4. Anything other than a fitted sheet unless directed by health care provider If an item is not labelled  crib,bassinet,or play yard  it is not

As we talked about in Newborn Bonding  , your newborns brain is at its basic form and your baby's experiences will fine tune the development until young adult hood. This fine tuning occurs from the back of the brain to the front of the brain where higher functions such as planning and emotional regulation control exist. There are two type of development that will occur within your child based on their environment: Experience-expectant development Development dependent upon your child experiencing certain experiences. This is the development all children are expected to go through, milestones . What are the expected experiences?  Things to see- Their hand, the wall, your face, child safe mirrors, trees, the sky, outside, your home Things to hear- Your voice & everyday sounds Things to touch- Simple play objects , their hands, you, your home, and outside Room to move- A clear safe place to move freely on the floor Objects to pull onto- These should be sturdy